yeah

soo i relized that 9th grade and 2008 was the worst years of my life.. i lost my brother and my old best friends and my hair was 10 thousand colors, my family being broke, making so many fucking mistakes, but there also was awesome parts like being best friends with missy and julie, seven springs with missy, cedar point with them, partying a lot with drinking and smoking, so many new friends this year in school i'm actually kinda social, sneaking out at missys haha,my sisters new boyfriend, having my job, the summer it was intense, kches concert, and just living my life.. even tho a lot of that is good what bad happened will outnumber that no matter what, i feel kinda depressed lately and if you think back a year from today i would be really close and probably hanging out with my brother, texting emily and rachel but now its like completely opposite i'm completely different for the good and the worse... sometimes i miss my old life sometimes i don't i just don't know. me and missy went to frightnight it was so gay, cedar point destroyed kennywood for me and it was not scarry what so ever. ahhhhh i'm parcially crazy, tomorrow i'll be happy idk.. i think if my brother was here my life would be so much better. i'm lucky that julie and missy took me in like idk what i would have done when i got in a retarded fight with my old friends because i would have had no one and i never expected to be such good friends with them but now there my life and i love them more than anything and i wouldn't trade them for the world. tays still here but we barely talk or hang out unless she has a problem she has steph now but whatever i dont really have time for anyways i'm always busy now that i work its like school work sleep school work sleep school sleeep school work sleep then friday saturday and sunday i have off so its nice.. i'm excited for hallowween!! ryans having a party but i'm missing seans but its okay. my legs hurt for no apparent reason.. i had the biggest shock of my life in school on friday.. i did not expect to see corey there and it was so awkward i haven't seen him since that night so i like tryed to hide then when i was leaving we made eye contact so i had to talk then he texted me at 2 in the morning.. weird.. yeah idkkkkkkkkkkk i realized how people think of me, and there so wrong haha i'm not like anyone expects. i'm really bitchy lately but i'm so sick of drama my life is so ffull of it but i'm not the kind of bitch if you talk to me i'm not going to be lkike fuck you get away, i'll be nice haha weell i'm going to go get a shower, buy an ipod touch or wii & wii fit then tanning. peace out