damn straight

I love one tree hill haha I'm watching it rite now I want all the seasons on DVD.so the student section on Friday at the game was crazy it was so wet n they were making moshpits n throwing people down ha then I stayed over missys n then when she went to work I was home sleeping then I went to the outback with missys family then we smoked with Brett n Sara then went to the movies to see saw v ! Then i stayed at her house again yah going high to that ...interesting yet good! Oh yah the drug test at work was a mistake!!:) I should move in with missy cause I'm always there n new York city next weekend idk what I'm gonna do with out missy that long ! She tweaked in French today cuz I'm leaving her

drug test

Omg so I got my pay stub from work today saying that my money got direct deposited which is nice then I found this slip saying that we are getting drug tested !!!! Idk what i'm going to do because I'm going to completely fail it!!!!!

homecoming

was rediculously gay. it was horrible I HATE DANCES.. i wouldn't if i could loosen up and if i could dance.. the after party got all fucked up but it turned out fun cause was hotboxed a tent with a kazoo!! lmfao it was great.. i just remember laughing the whole night.. i kept spilling the weed on me and caught the blanket on fire and julie thought she was smoking blankets lmfao and choking on water.. my throat hurt sooo bad so the metal kazoo didn't help much.. but it was so worth it<33333333 ryan was high too and halicinated that he was seeing goblins and ghosts? hahahahahah

my arms itcy

yah i looked at a previous blog.. i said work was slow ohmygod is it not anymore!!!! i had to work every single day this week and i was supposed to work today but i can't i'm too tired.. its so busy like its intense you should see how big of a mess the store is and i had to stay 2 extra hours closing cause we were so busy and the other day i did like 20 bags of drycleaning and laundry only i didn't even work at the front with alterations or anything.. i need a shower and my lips hurt really bad.. i feel like rambling haha my hair feels like different hair.. i didn't do anything with it for like 2 weeks and its like longer and so heatlhy and soft !! homecomings this weekend coming up but i need a date so i don't think i'm going to go cause i'm not loved.. i want a boy but ha i'm way to picky and that doesn't even matter cause no one likes me.. i'm so tired this weekend kinda sucks ahhh my life is so gay right now.. the begining of school was so much fun and eventfull now its all blah.. i haven't talked or like hung out with julie.. shes like falling out of my radar.. missy's practically my bestfriend now.. hmm tays mad that we never hang out but it not my fault.. maybe i will go to the damn haunted house

fireworks

or portorsville haunted house!?!!?
i can't decide.. either i go to the haunted house with tay and steph
or fireworks with missy? dfjdfadsfds i think i'm going have to see fireworks.
this is pointless hahah

the ipod touch

is the most amazing thing in the world!!!!! I am on it right now the internet is actually pretty fast n I'm still really tired from friday! Its crazy hahaha I'm so tired

yeah

soo i relized that 9th grade and 2008 was the worst years of my life.. i lost my brother and my old best friends and my hair was 10 thousand colors, my family being broke, making so many fucking mistakes, but there also was awesome parts like being best friends with missy and julie, seven springs with missy, cedar point with them, partying a lot with drinking and smoking, so many new friends this year in school i'm actually kinda social, sneaking out at missys haha,my sisters new boyfriend, having my job, the summer it was intense, kches concert, and just living my life.. even tho a lot of that is good what bad happened will outnumber that no matter what, i feel kinda depressed lately and if you think back a year from today i would be really close and probably hanging out with my brother, texting emily and rachel but now its like completely opposite i'm completely different for the good and the worse... sometimes i miss my old life sometimes i don't i just don't know. me and missy went to frightnight it was so gay, cedar point destroyed kennywood for me and it was not scarry what so ever. ahhhhh i'm parcially crazy, tomorrow i'll be happy idk.. i think if my brother was here my life would be so much better. i'm lucky that julie and missy took me in like idk what i would have done when i got in a retarded fight with my old friends because i would have had no one and i never expected to be such good friends with them but now there my life and i love them more than anything and i wouldn't trade them for the world. tays still here but we barely talk or hang out unless she has a problem she has steph now but whatever i dont really have time for anyways i'm always busy now that i work its like school work sleep school work sleep school sleeep school work sleep then friday saturday and sunday i have off so its nice.. i'm excited for hallowween!! ryans having a party but i'm missing seans but its okay. my legs hurt for no apparent reason.. i had the biggest shock of my life in school on friday.. i did not expect to see corey there and it was so awkward i haven't seen him since that night so i like tryed to hide then when i was leaving we made eye contact so i had to talk then he texted me at 2 in the morning.. weird.. yeah idkkkkkkkkkkk i realized how people think of me, and there so wrong haha i'm not like anyone expects. i'm really bitchy lately but i'm so sick of drama my life is so ffull of it but i'm not the kind of bitch if you talk to me i'm not going to be lkike fuck you get away, i'll be nice haha weell i'm going to go get a shower, buy an ipod touch or wii & wii fit then tanning. peace out

sweet sixteen

my mom won't let me drive..gay haha i actually don't care that much..sometimes ha i got muh ears pierced and my nails did haha and an ipod touch its all good and some yummy cheesecake.. i had to work but that was okay my boss got me balloons haha.. i'm partying it up on saturday for my sweet sixteen hahah but i'm sick of this thng peace out home slivce

CEDAR POINT

cedar point was AMAZING!! ahhh i loved it there. kennywood doesn't even compare hahaha. we had a lot of fun even tho it rained but that really didn't effect us much cause it didn't rain like half the time.. missy thought i died on the top thrill dragster cause i was so scared and like was shaking and i was ignoring her. the lines were sweet no one was there so the longest wait was like 5 minutes. we messed with these little assholes who thought they were cool at 3 am and decorated their door with rats and cockrroaches lmao then they opened the door and me an dmissy had to hide and got stuck at a dead end but found steps hahaha a lot more happened but my throat is THROBING and i can't talk.. voice is gone.. oh yeah and before we went the car broke down and we had to rent a van lmao

last night

was insane hahah. beer pong was so intense lmao i have bruises
i love niki's house its awesome! we went quad riding at 4 am..
didn't turn out too swell considering we landed in the hospital
ha everythings good tho. i kinda kissed a 21 year old lmao oh well
and slept with him on the couch all night but its all good haha i don't
feel like going into detail

school

schhhhhoooooool is actually pretty descent for right now!
my classes are pretty good and i don't see majority of the people i don't like, score!
my english is interesting with kelsey's bro & drew & chris and joel,bob, taylor .. yah lawlz, julie has spanish with andy lmfao!!! oh you have no idea.. i didn't see julie once today, it sucks since we had so many classes together ALL junior high.. and now none.. me & missy found our own little anti-social bouth in the cafe lmao its pretty sweet... not the people around us tho hahaha long story.. my study hall's huge, gym kinda sucks yeah but for the most part things are going good as of today.

last night of summer

ehh today's the last night of summer..
i wish it wasn't.. this was an UNFORGETABLE summer
sooooooooooooo much stuff happend and i changed sooo much.
it was pretty awesome for the most part.. last night was fun !
i got to see missy i haven't seen her in soo long. we stayed over
christa's and her parents hate me cause i'ma bad influence
and i made a nice appareance with seans loud ass car at 11 pm
ahh that car<3
last night i thought missy went to hug me but she was just petting my hair
hahah it was funny so i hugged her anyways cause i haven't seen her in so long
then she gave me her gift.. its a huge shot glass that will pretty much kill me
the next time we party :D i wish i was partying right now.. we are supposed to be
drinking & smoking but shit came up.. missy still kinda grounded from vacation..
CEDARPOINT is coming soon!! we have our own hotel room! not very smart.. lmao
i'm bringing at least one thhing of vodka <3
lawlz i'ma go peace out my nigga!
*this is what i got back from missy julie & christa from julie's vacation along wth another shot glass lmao.. sasquatch and a stoner

wakey wakey eggs and bakey

haha this is weird.. so when i stayed over sean's last saturday.. it was like 5 am and daniella texted me saying wakey wakey eggs and bakey and i was still up trying to put people to sleep and watch parental control and then at like 10:00am Tim was like wakey wakey eggs and bakey.. haha how retarded and weird is that.

yesterday was horrible

so my dads okay which is good..
i didn't need that shock.. but yesterday
was just a bad day.. that happened with my dad
and now the rest of my summers ruined because
missy & christa got caught drinking on vacation
and THATS HORRIBLE. christa's life is over and
missy's getting her car taken away and cedar point!!
plus her phone and her life i'm sure.. its worse because
missy got caught drinking with me and now christa so
were completely screwed ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

heart attack

i'm going to have a fucking heart attack..
dfjdsklfds my dad got in an accident and
totalled his DUMP TRUCK. idk if hes okay
i haven't found anything out i'm going crazy
i can't take my life. all it is a let down half the time
ds;lafjdskfdsf why me? more like why my family?
wtf did we do to deserve this? we barely make things
threw as it is we can't keep taking all this extra bullshit
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck why can't the hospital just let me know!
dfakdsjfkdasjf fuccccccccccccccccccccccccck

work

so work today was slow as hellllll
so so boring i didn't feel like standing there for 8 hours doing nothing
but then again it gives me less time to screw up.. i did pretty good today
i ate chips & easy mac from the gas station again.

brother

so sunday was my brother's 22 birthday.. it was really hard considering i couldn't spend it with him and i missed his last birthday because i went to a concert or something.. idk i try to block everything out that has to deal with him because its just so freaking hard.. i mean i looked up to him with everything i had.. i spent 15 years at his side following or just hanging out with him.. any time i could get to spend with him i would. my rooms next to his so when i would hear his door i'd go out and try to talk to him or spend time with him and now i can't do that.. i wish he was still here.. and i know it was an accident but my sister doesn't think it was.. i don't know. i feel like i've been in a shell for 15 years and now i'm just coming out realizing so much the past 9 months.. i've learned and been through so much shit its ridiculous. and my familys so screwed up it was nice with him here because he understood like no one else can.. i mean i have 3 sisters but one is prego so shes not around nor do i ever talk to her anyways its always kinda awkward.. the other one is some other country and is staying another year not that i care shes evill.. we don't get a long what so ever. maybe because me and my brother used to torture her when we were little lol. then theres jaxx.. we're close.. she understands our family but its still not the same.. i grew up with my brother and all his friends. i mean i had my own and i was with my sister but being with him always meant more or idk. i have no clue why i'm doing this i don't talk to anyone about my brother its too hard and this isn't even the half of it.. i don't think of that night ever.. it like makes me go insane.. but for his birthday family came over and we had a bonfire.. people were kinda on my nerves.. i had to work earlier and i just didn't want to like celebrate it especially cause we didn't really have anything special when he was here.. my birthday's always missed.. i never get anything my mom doesn't have the money because of the bills are all do right around my bday and my dads a jack ass. this blog makes me sound emo but i'm not.. just getting my frustration out.. yeah and now i'm going to cedar point with missy, julie & christa i mean its going to be a blast i love them so much and we always have fun together so this will def. be an awesome memory but it sucks because my and my brother always planned to go there together and now i kinda feel bad going with out him idk i'm crazy i just don't know anymore